I'm back...finally...!

Hello, hello, hello, hello!!!!! I'm back! And shit has been happening! Soooo many things! Boring stuff first...I'm super busy with school, it takes up my time and energy and quite honnestly, I hate it. But regardless, when I have a bachellors, I'll be nice and happy.

Ok, the good stuff...the crush...this is an interesting subject...The crush and I are currently kinda sorta seeing each other. He's my Dom...*sigh*...yes, yes i am happy (in case ou were wondering). I'm not officially his yet, but I think that it's something that's in an eventual future. In the past couple of months, we're mainly learning how to deal with each other, he's learning how I react to certain tortures and I'm learning how he reacts to my brattiness (hihi!). So all's well on that front. The No-Love Policy is still in effect, have no worry. Not cause I'm having a little fun that I'm falling madly in love.

Now, speaking of the Dom, I've found myself much more comfortable with my kinky side in the past few months. I'm more comfortable and am now fully able to express what I do and do not want out of a D/s partnership. I've also developped a bit of a penchant for leather. It all started with a flogger...a beautiful, beautiful, heavy, thuddyleather flogger that I got from a vendor at my favorite (and only) local sex positive playspace. Actually, it did start with the crush...it's that damn leather straight-jacket. It's so heavy and it smells so nice...*sigh* Add to that a hot pair of boots (I smell an HNT...) and a hot HOT weekend spent in leather shackles...that's it, I'm now adicted!

Oh...there was also a photoshoot a couple of weeks back. A good friend of mine has recently started a little company selling some sexy hemp rope and for the website (which is still being developped), he needed some bondage shots. The concept was good, 2 girls, a guy and lots of rope. He wanted to showcase different body types (hence me...) and different ethnicities (me again!) in some shots. It was nice and fun, but didn't turn out as fun as expected. There are some nice shots of the other two models, but I just...meh...no. Actually, one or two are interesting, I look foreward to seeing what he does with them...

Anyhow, more later!

One ring to rule them all…

I thought I'd show off a bit more skin this week. I'm not a very conservative person, but it's not easy trying to take all this pics by myself...I know that the crush, in the anticipation of his victory (see previous post for details) is looking forwards to snapping a couple of me in...let's call them "compromising positions". Anyhow...

(Now this pic, I really miss...!)

This weeks HNT showcases 2 really different parts of me. Uno, the ring. The ring was a gift from my grandmother who passed away when I was 11. I met her twice, once when I was 5, when we went to Guinea, and once when I was 7 when she came to Montreal. It was the only time she'd ever been on a plane. She was 92. She and I never understood one another, mainly because we spoke different languages, but we connected. She gave this ring to my mother before she left Montreal (last time I saw her) and told her to give it to me on my 21st birthday. I've only had it for close to 2 years, but this ring means the world to me. Makes me feel...grown up. I just hope that one day - though far away - I'll have a daughter to whom I'll be able to pass it on.

The second part of me is the boob. Yes I know...it's pretty straight forward right? I mean it's a tit! But the breast is so symbolic and beautiful in my opinion. It conforts, feeds and provides tons of pleasure! :-) My breast bare scars (tiny ones) because when I was 19, I had a breast reduction. I'm very happy with my breasts now, granted it's not easy for breast bondage, but Buddha knows, they'still quite plentiful if you ask me! I think that if you ask the men I've been with post-op, they're all quite pleased with my girls! There's only one person out there who tries to makes me feel guilty for making them smaller. He knows who he is...and one day...I'll have him tied up, and he will pay! Muhahahahahahahaha!

Right...well, I thought I'd type up a super naughty HNT...I guess this just ends up being more of an ode to my femininity and you know what? I like that!

On second thought, I hadn't noticed, but you can see a bit of my sternum piercing in this pic...maybe I am showing off my more subtle naughtiness...*grin*

Now go see who else is getting naked by clicking here!

Tied up…

Oh how I wish I were making bondage references...*sigh* but since school has started again, I've been running around like a chicken with no head. It's kind of a pain in the ass since all I want right now is to have some time to get away from real life and spend some time with the crush. Now that I've gotten rid of the Cancer Cock (he was 2 timing me and not telling me...not good when we're supposed to be honest about if we're sleeping with other people). I hate feeling like someone is playing behind my back. I'm a pretty simple lady, I don't mind if we just screw one another in the biblical sense, but I don't want him fucking with my mind, telling me that he's depressive one minute and the next telling me that he's sort of dating some chick and then, having the balls to tell me that even if he had a new girlfriend, that he'd want to still sleep with me. I walked away very satisfied and still possesing all of my dignity after telling him that I'm not his consolation prize.

On the crush front, everything is going well although I'm starting to lower my expectations. I just don't want to get hurt. He and I have made a bet, he thinks that he can kick my ass, and I think he can't. We've wagered 2 TPE (total power exchange) weekends, the winner gets to be Dom. Okay, honnestly, the man is 6'4 and weighs 280 lbs... I know I'm getting my ass kicked...which I don't necessarily mind (tee-hee!). Anyhow, sadly, because of a congress this weekend, this whole ordeal may have to wait another week (yet again). *sob*

So that's all I've got for now, I'll be back soon!

HNT #3 – Piercing

I think I've spoken about this in a previous post, but I'm a total piercing junky. I love the feeling of going to the piercing parlor, sitting in that chair and feeling a needle poke through my skin. Ok...that sounds a little creepy... From the age of twelve on, all I wanted was to get a piercing. Then I got my first piercing, an industrial in my left ear. This was the second piercing; I did the rook because I had just gotten my first gig directing a movie. It was a big deal and I wanted to commemorate the event.

(Yet another pic on vacation...I'm guessing they were tired...phew!)

Since the rook, I've gotten others. I had my tongue pierced for about 3 years, my nipples (although that was WAY too intense for me) and now my sternum. I'm thinking about getting the tongue done again...but then again, I might do a naughty piercing before I do that one again...only time will tell...

There's this weird thing that happens when I get a new piercing, I feel so strong, so sexy, so beautiful. I think I'm not the only one who feels that way though, which is comforting! I tried the tattoo thing but really, one was more than enough for me. I guess that there are tattoo people and there are piercing people, just like the whole cat and dog thing! I know this isn't a wickedly sexy piercing or anything risqué, but I think that it's subtlety is quite representative of me. On that note...

Happy HNT!

You can go see who else is getting half-nekkind by clicking here!

Da Count #1

I got the idea to do this reading blog. I think it's always nice to put things into perspective. I guess that the thing that made me smile this week was an email from the crush. He and I were sending emails back and forth about how much we both wanted him to lick my boots clean and how he probably deserved to have a few parts of his anatomy slapped around...(hehe!) Anyhow, when I signed off, he sent me a little message that just made me smile. It brought me comfort and, being the sweetheart that I am, I decided that I was going to share this message with you all. **Warning** Now for those of you with a quick gag reflex when it comes to all things cute and mushy, I say avert your eyes while there's still time!

"nite sweety, i kiss your booted feet with love and respect!"

So there...Now go see who else has something good to tell you by clicking here!

HNT – Cancelled

There was sad news in the adult blogging community. Due to this, there shall be no nekkindness today. I thought that 2007 would start with less sadness but sadly I've also been told that on the 22nd of december, a school fellow of mine was also killed. She was 18... Needless to say that my faith has been on a downward spiral since June 13th when 20 minutes after I dumped my ex (hardest thing I've ever done), I got a call saying that a friend had been involved in an accident and hadn't survived the impact. She was 20. Three weeks later, I got another call, a close friends little brother just had a car accident and died on the spot. He was 18. I didn't know Betcha, but I know that dealing with a friend passing on isn't easy. Tonight, in the privacy of my own room, I lit candles for my friends. I lit one for Betcha too. May they all be having a drink on a cloud, looking down on us and smiling.

Busy!

School started again yesterday. Whew! I'm already tired! It was an odd day...Went to school, bought some school stuff...went to the gym and met Cancer Cock (someone once tried to convince me that big cocks give cancer...). Cancer cock and I have been screwing like rabbits for about a year and a half. He's probably the one person that I'm most compatible with sexually...ever. He's not BDSM, but if I had to chose, and if there were emotions involved, I'd be with this guy for the rest of my days. Now, CC, as I like to call him, came up to me at said gym (while I'm sweatty and on the treadmill no less!) to ask me if I wanted to leave with him. I said sure, thinking that it'd end up as a post workout workout. So we left, went back to his place, had a bit of grub and then...he gets all nervous and says he has to talk to me. I didn't know what to think so I kinda just told him to blurt it out. And he did. He's borderline manic depressive and has been on antidepressants since the age of 18.

I don't know what to think of this. I mean...he's my lover, but obviously in the past year and a half, I've grown fond of him and I don't know what to think...I mean, condissering I couldn't have known in any other circumstance, I guess I'm happy to know, but it freaked me out a little. Being manic depressive is a bit of a big deal. I guess I'm mainly scared of what knowing this will bring on. I don't want to pity him. I don't think that I do considering he's says it's under control, but I'm a little irked. What if he loses it with me? It could happen... I don't want to leave whatever he and I are just because of this, I'm not a hypocrite. I don't know... UGH! Let's just say that I'm a little confused right now...I couldn't even bring myself to have sex with him...we cuddled...nothing much else went on. I asked some questions of course, got some straight up answers...but still...I can't shake this confused feeling in the pit of my gut.

Lessons in fisting

Before anything, I just want to say thanks to all the sweet bloggers who stopped by to comment on my first HNT pic. It made me feel very welcome in your little family! I'm already thinking of ideas for next week!

And now, back to our regularly scheduled blogging...

Earlier this week, I went out with a friend of mine who's sole purpose in my life, is fisting. It's what he loves, and amazingly enough, I enjoy it just as much. We went out for a beer and after about ten seconds, we both wanted each other. Now, let me stress the importance of safety when it comes to fisting. Gloves are ESSENTIAL and so is lube. I know it may seem shitty to have to wear a glove, but considering how many little tiny nano-rips you can make in a vagina with friction, I'd rather know that I'm not going to get anything that might be stuck under a finger nail in me...ugh! The idea makes me cringe. Anyhow!

He started with some pretty straight forward vaginal dialation with his fingers, working me up from one to 4. He then did something new, which was shockingly good, he put his two hands in me (8 fingers, no thumbs) and opened me by pushing his hands outwards. Then we moved to some straightforward fisting. The key to getting past the knuckles is to NOT rush this. I was in control over how deep he went inside me. Being on all fours helps as the fistee (lol) can lower herself on the fisters fist (duh!). Now this is when communication is the most important. There's a fine line between being on the edge of the most amazing orgasm in the world and painful rubbing of the knuckles against the bladder. This can result in pain in the long run. Now generally, I find that after that ginormous orgasm that I tend to achieve through fisting, I'm not good for anything, but my friend thought that ending on a good puss eating would be nice. He was right.

I guess that I just really hope that youz peeps try it out, get some gloves, some lube, unhook the phone and play away. It's fun and sometimes, it's a nice way to experiment with squirting.

Happy fisting to you all!

My first HNT

I thought that I'd be hit with a stroke of genius for my first HNT on this blog. Apparently not... I think that every girl who's had her hands on a camera has, at some point, taken a picture of her feet. I always wondered why... Now, being into the whole BDSM thing, I have found that feet can be quite an object of lust and desire, but I've never really understood. Sure, I've enjoyed seeing a man lick my boots, but foot worship isn't really my thing I guess. The one great thing about feet and being Domme...foot massages. I enjoy them terribly! I once went through a summer of getting pedicures once a week. Man did I feel sexy then! Ok, ok, I still feel sexy, but for different reasons.

(This pic is currentl on vacation and will be back soon!)

Anyhow, I guess that I've now broken the ice and that there will be many HNT's to follow!

Happy HNT! Click here to see who else is showing off!

It’s a new year

The last post I made was pretty depressing...I was a little depressed about being alone...I have to admit that at midnight, when the ball dropped, I felt alone. I was with friends, but I felt so...lonely more than alone. I was watching some of my closest friends call their men and be happy and all that and I realized that all I had was them and my family...I think I may have even shed a tear...(snif...I know). But now that the bulk of emotion has passed, I'm in bed with the cat sleeping accross my legs, I feel okay. I know I'm going to have a good year, that I'm going to grow as a woman, as a Domme, as a friend and as a lover. I also feel kinda comfortable knowing that this is day uno of the No Love Policy. This is the year of me!