I'm back...finally...!

Hello, hello, hello, hello!!!!! I'm back! And shit has been happening! Soooo many things! Boring stuff first...I'm super busy with school, it takes up my time and energy and quite honnestly, I hate it. But regardless, when I have a bachellors, I'll be nice and happy.

Ok, the good stuff...the crush...this is an interesting subject...The crush and I are currently kinda sorta seeing each other. He's my Dom...*sigh*...yes, yes i am happy (in case ou were wondering). I'm not officially his yet, but I think that it's something that's in an eventual future. In the past couple of months, we're mainly learning how to deal with each other, he's learning how I react to certain tortures and I'm learning how he reacts to my brattiness (hihi!). So all's well on that front. The No-Love Policy is still in effect, have no worry. Not cause I'm having a little fun that I'm falling madly in love.

Now, speaking of the Dom, I've found myself much more comfortable with my kinky side in the past few months. I'm more comfortable and am now fully able to express what I do and do not want out of a D/s partnership. I've also developped a bit of a penchant for leather. It all started with a flogger...a beautiful, beautiful, heavy, thuddyleather flogger that I got from a vendor at my favorite (and only) local sex positive playspace. Actually, it did start with the crush...it's that damn leather straight-jacket. It's so heavy and it smells so nice...*sigh* Add to that a hot pair of boots (I smell an HNT...) and a hot HOT weekend spent in leather shackles...that's it, I'm now adicted!

Oh...there was also a photoshoot a couple of weeks back. A good friend of mine has recently started a little company selling some sexy hemp rope and for the website (which is still being developped), he needed some bondage shots. The concept was good, 2 girls, a guy and lots of rope. He wanted to showcase different body types (hence me...) and different ethnicities (me again!) in some shots. It was nice and fun, but didn't turn out as fun as expected. There are some nice shots of the other two models, but I just...meh...no. Actually, one or two are interesting, I look foreward to seeing what he does with them...

Anyhow, more later!

Lessons in fisting

Before anything, I just want to say thanks to all the sweet bloggers who stopped by to comment on my first HNT pic. It made me feel very welcome in your little family! I'm already thinking of ideas for next week!

And now, back to our regularly scheduled blogging...

Earlier this week, I went out with a friend of mine who's sole purpose in my life, is fisting. It's what he loves, and amazingly enough, I enjoy it just as much. We went out for a beer and after about ten seconds, we both wanted each other. Now, let me stress the importance of safety when it comes to fisting. Gloves are ESSENTIAL and so is lube. I know it may seem shitty to have to wear a glove, but considering how many little tiny nano-rips you can make in a vagina with friction, I'd rather know that I'm not going to get anything that might be stuck under a finger nail in me...ugh! The idea makes me cringe. Anyhow!

He started with some pretty straight forward vaginal dialation with his fingers, working me up from one to 4. He then did something new, which was shockingly good, he put his two hands in me (8 fingers, no thumbs) and opened me by pushing his hands outwards. Then we moved to some straightforward fisting. The key to getting past the knuckles is to NOT rush this. I was in control over how deep he went inside me. Being on all fours helps as the fistee (lol) can lower herself on the fisters fist (duh!). Now this is when communication is the most important. There's a fine line between being on the edge of the most amazing orgasm in the world and painful rubbing of the knuckles against the bladder. This can result in pain in the long run. Now generally, I find that after that ginormous orgasm that I tend to achieve through fisting, I'm not good for anything, but my friend thought that ending on a good puss eating would be nice. He was right.

I guess that I just really hope that youz peeps try it out, get some gloves, some lube, unhook the phone and play away. It's fun and sometimes, it's a nice way to experiment with squirting.

Happy fisting to you all!

My first HNT

I thought that I'd be hit with a stroke of genius for my first HNT on this blog. Apparently not... I think that every girl who's had her hands on a camera has, at some point, taken a picture of her feet. I always wondered why... Now, being into the whole BDSM thing, I have found that feet can be quite an object of lust and desire, but I've never really understood. Sure, I've enjoyed seeing a man lick my boots, but foot worship isn't really my thing I guess. The one great thing about feet and being Domme...foot massages. I enjoy them terribly! I once went through a summer of getting pedicures once a week. Man did I feel sexy then! Ok, ok, I still feel sexy, but for different reasons.

(This pic is currentl on vacation and will be back soon!)

Anyhow, I guess that I've now broken the ice and that there will be many HNT's to follow!

Happy HNT! Click here to see who else is showing off!

I’m a douchebag…maybe

I've always had a tendency for being too nice. The crush messaged me from a Dom's email adress which is interesting considering I prefer being a sub to him. He was super sweet and we were supposed to see each other tonight. It's 10.45 pm and I'm still at home...No, I'm not sitting by the phone waiting for him to call, I've just decided that I wasn't going to care. Man, if only I could manage that. Hopefully we can get in contact tomorrow. I guess he really isn't the guy for me although when we talk, I always end up feeling so good about myself...*sigh* what am I supposed to do here? I guess I'm going to give him one more chance...one more, after that, I'm just giving up. I hope it doesn't get there. Man, I really feel like I'm destined to be alone for the next long while in my life. Is it too much to ask for a little comfort, a little bit of a sense of security, something that can make me think that I'm worth it?

*sigh* I just want to be in that leather straightjacket again...

Insert crazy swearing here…

I'm such a douchebag. That's all I can say, I think. Me=douchebag. I had a really bad day. Ended up flipping out and almost crying (which I hate). I called the crush to wish him a Merry Christmas. I think one of his friends answered and said that he thought I had a wrong number. This came after a series of developments which made me believe that it's a government plot for me to have the shittiest day. So now, there'll probably be no second thing with the crush which means that I go back to wallowing. Man it sucks to be me.

Now I know that the one person who might read this is probably rolling his eyes at my patheticism. To him, I say...Yes I know...how am I supposed to be a credible Domme if I act like a girl right? Well...I am a girl. I have good days and bad days. Around this time of year, with the year I've had, I'm allowed to be a little weak and want to sink down into subness again. I seem to have that need when I'm feeling down, to just sink back into being a sub and being controled and at someone's mercy. I think that's why the crush is a crush, he managed to make me feel small, safe, beatiful and frustrated all at once. It's hard to not want that more than once...It definetly helped that he towered over me and was strong enough to hold me down with one hand. *sigh* I want that again...

Wow…I’m lauging at myself

I can't believe that I posted while completly drunk...it's a little pathetic...Meh, it's the holidays, being stupid is permitted. I'm kinda mad at myself about the whole fucking-my-best-friends-little-brother thing though...We were drunk, which is not an excuse, but it's really nice to flirt and not give 2 shits about the consequences. It's one of those feel good things. I actually didn't do much, he kept looking over and giving me the "look". Then during martinis the footsie started (what is this high school?). Then we all watched a movie during which I don't think the whole touche-pipi thing went unnoticed. We were all REALLY drunk though...who knows...same thing happened last time too. Anyhow, the fourth person left, best friend decided she was too drunk to stand and went to bed. I went out for a smoke and went to crash on her couch for a couple of hours to sober up a little. Didn't sober up...was pounced on...anyhow...can't wait to see if this'll repeat itself again...hmmm...

Drunk posting

Wow I'm drunk! Went to my best friends place for dessert. Needless to say there was no dessert but a shit load of booze was waiting for me when I got there! Yes...I am posting at 6 am, completely piss drunk...Nice don't you think! Anyhow...this past summer, under Very similar circumstances, I fucked said friends little brother...What do you think happened tonight? Yep...did it again (wow this is what Britney must feel like!). Fucked best friends little brother (he's 20...) and had fun teasing him all night...how mean can one firl be...I'll tell you after I've had a tall glass of liquids (water or juice....no more booze tonight!) and a few hours sleep!

Kissies!