I'm back...finally...!

Hello, hello, hello, hello!!!!! I'm back! And shit has been happening! Soooo many things! Boring stuff first...I'm super busy with school, it takes up my time and energy and quite honnestly, I hate it. But regardless, when I have a bachellors, I'll be nice and happy.

Ok, the good stuff...the crush...this is an interesting subject...The crush and I are currently kinda sorta seeing each other. He's my Dom...*sigh*...yes, yes i am happy (in case ou were wondering). I'm not officially his yet, but I think that it's something that's in an eventual future. In the past couple of months, we're mainly learning how to deal with each other, he's learning how I react to certain tortures and I'm learning how he reacts to my brattiness (hihi!). So all's well on that front. The No-Love Policy is still in effect, have no worry. Not cause I'm having a little fun that I'm falling madly in love.

Now, speaking of the Dom, I've found myself much more comfortable with my kinky side in the past few months. I'm more comfortable and am now fully able to express what I do and do not want out of a D/s partnership. I've also developped a bit of a penchant for leather. It all started with a flogger...a beautiful, beautiful, heavy, thuddyleather flogger that I got from a vendor at my favorite (and only) local sex positive playspace. Actually, it did start with the crush...it's that damn leather straight-jacket. It's so heavy and it smells so nice...*sigh* Add to that a hot pair of boots (I smell an HNT...) and a hot HOT weekend spent in leather shackles...that's it, I'm now adicted!

Oh...there was also a photoshoot a couple of weeks back. A good friend of mine has recently started a little company selling some sexy hemp rope and for the website (which is still being developped), he needed some bondage shots. The concept was good, 2 girls, a guy and lots of rope. He wanted to showcase different body types (hence me...) and different ethnicities (me again!) in some shots. It was nice and fun, but didn't turn out as fun as expected. There are some nice shots of the other two models, but I just...meh...no. Actually, one or two are interesting, I look foreward to seeing what he does with them...

Anyhow, more later!

One ring to rule them all…

I thought I'd show off a bit more skin this week. I'm not a very conservative person, but it's not easy trying to take all this pics by myself...I know that the crush, in the anticipation of his victory (see previous post for details) is looking forwards to snapping a couple of me in...let's call them "compromising positions". Anyhow...

(Now this pic, I really miss...!)

This weeks HNT showcases 2 really different parts of me. Uno, the ring. The ring was a gift from my grandmother who passed away when I was 11. I met her twice, once when I was 5, when we went to Guinea, and once when I was 7 when she came to Montreal. It was the only time she'd ever been on a plane. She was 92. She and I never understood one another, mainly because we spoke different languages, but we connected. She gave this ring to my mother before she left Montreal (last time I saw her) and told her to give it to me on my 21st birthday. I've only had it for close to 2 years, but this ring means the world to me. Makes me feel...grown up. I just hope that one day - though far away - I'll have a daughter to whom I'll be able to pass it on.

The second part of me is the boob. Yes I know...it's pretty straight forward right? I mean it's a tit! But the breast is so symbolic and beautiful in my opinion. It conforts, feeds and provides tons of pleasure! :-) My breast bare scars (tiny ones) because when I was 19, I had a breast reduction. I'm very happy with my breasts now, granted it's not easy for breast bondage, but Buddha knows, they'still quite plentiful if you ask me! I think that if you ask the men I've been with post-op, they're all quite pleased with my girls! There's only one person out there who tries to makes me feel guilty for making them smaller. He knows who he is...and one day...I'll have him tied up, and he will pay! Muhahahahahahahaha!

Right...well, I thought I'd type up a super naughty HNT...I guess this just ends up being more of an ode to my femininity and you know what? I like that!

On second thought, I hadn't noticed, but you can see a bit of my sternum piercing in this pic...maybe I am showing off my more subtle naughtiness...*grin*

Now go see who else is getting naked by clicking here!

HNT #3 – Piercing

I think I've spoken about this in a previous post, but I'm a total piercing junky. I love the feeling of going to the piercing parlor, sitting in that chair and feeling a needle poke through my skin. Ok...that sounds a little creepy... From the age of twelve on, all I wanted was to get a piercing. Then I got my first piercing, an industrial in my left ear. This was the second piercing; I did the rook because I had just gotten my first gig directing a movie. It was a big deal and I wanted to commemorate the event.

(Yet another pic on vacation...I'm guessing they were tired...phew!)

Since the rook, I've gotten others. I had my tongue pierced for about 3 years, my nipples (although that was WAY too intense for me) and now my sternum. I'm thinking about getting the tongue done again...but then again, I might do a naughty piercing before I do that one again...only time will tell...

There's this weird thing that happens when I get a new piercing, I feel so strong, so sexy, so beautiful. I think I'm not the only one who feels that way though, which is comforting! I tried the tattoo thing but really, one was more than enough for me. I guess that there are tattoo people and there are piercing people, just like the whole cat and dog thing! I know this isn't a wickedly sexy piercing or anything risqué, but I think that it's subtlety is quite representative of me. On that note...

Happy HNT!

You can go see who else is getting half-nekkind by clicking here!

Da Count #1

I got the idea to do this reading blog. I think it's always nice to put things into perspective. I guess that the thing that made me smile this week was an email from the crush. He and I were sending emails back and forth about how much we both wanted him to lick my boots clean and how he probably deserved to have a few parts of his anatomy slapped around...(hehe!) Anyhow, when I signed off, he sent me a little message that just made me smile. It brought me comfort and, being the sweetheart that I am, I decided that I was going to share this message with you all. **Warning** Now for those of you with a quick gag reflex when it comes to all things cute and mushy, I say avert your eyes while there's still time!

"nite sweety, i kiss your booted feet with love and respect!"

So there...Now go see who else has something good to tell you by clicking here!

My first HNT

I thought that I'd be hit with a stroke of genius for my first HNT on this blog. Apparently not... I think that every girl who's had her hands on a camera has, at some point, taken a picture of her feet. I always wondered why... Now, being into the whole BDSM thing, I have found that feet can be quite an object of lust and desire, but I've never really understood. Sure, I've enjoyed seeing a man lick my boots, but foot worship isn't really my thing I guess. The one great thing about feet and being Domme...foot massages. I enjoy them terribly! I once went through a summer of getting pedicures once a week. Man did I feel sexy then! Ok, ok, I still feel sexy, but for different reasons.

(This pic is currentl on vacation and will be back soon!)

Anyhow, I guess that I've now broken the ice and that there will be many HNT's to follow!

Happy HNT! Click here to see who else is showing off!

A whole new year…

Tomorrow is New Years Eve...I didn't see this year pass, what with it being so...crappy. Not just in a regular crappy fashion, this year has had it's share of break-ups and deaths and personal drama moments...Let's just say that 2007 should be a walk in the park compared to the last 6 months or anyways, let's just say that that's my new year wish.

Plans for ringing in 2007... Fondue with friends and watchig Sex and the City. Yes, I'd rather get an enema than do this, but if I stay at home, I feel that I may just sit in my bed and cry and hold the cat and cry some more. This isn't a valid option. The only other solution I found would be to go out alone...on new years...don't think so. So...rather than stay home with mom and dad...I'll be hanging out with a gay couple and two girlfriends...woo...hoo..(I'm sure you can hear the trepidation in my tone...).

Resolutions for 2007...get new friends...lol. Other than just smiling everyday, I've resolved to stop being so fucking nice to everyone around me. I'm a little to compliant with my entourage. I guess it just comes down to being more inclined to making myself the priority. This year is all about me. me! Me. mE. ME! So...yes. Let's make this the year of MOI!

To you and yours, have a safe, happy and kinky new year!

Insert crazy swearing here…

I'm such a douchebag. That's all I can say, I think. Me=douchebag. I had a really bad day. Ended up flipping out and almost crying (which I hate). I called the crush to wish him a Merry Christmas. I think one of his friends answered and said that he thought I had a wrong number. This came after a series of developments which made me believe that it's a government plot for me to have the shittiest day. So now, there'll probably be no second thing with the crush which means that I go back to wallowing. Man it sucks to be me.

Now I know that the one person who might read this is probably rolling his eyes at my patheticism. To him, I say...Yes I know...how am I supposed to be a credible Domme if I act like a girl right? Well...I am a girl. I have good days and bad days. Around this time of year, with the year I've had, I'm allowed to be a little weak and want to sink down into subness again. I seem to have that need when I'm feeling down, to just sink back into being a sub and being controled and at someone's mercy. I think that's why the crush is a crush, he managed to make me feel small, safe, beatiful and frustrated all at once. It's hard to not want that more than once...It definetly helped that he towered over me and was strong enough to hold me down with one hand. *sigh* I want that again...

Wow…I’m lauging at myself

I can't believe that I posted while completly drunk...it's a little pathetic...Meh, it's the holidays, being stupid is permitted. I'm kinda mad at myself about the whole fucking-my-best-friends-little-brother thing though...We were drunk, which is not an excuse, but it's really nice to flirt and not give 2 shits about the consequences. It's one of those feel good things. I actually didn't do much, he kept looking over and giving me the "look". Then during martinis the footsie started (what is this high school?). Then we all watched a movie during which I don't think the whole touche-pipi thing went unnoticed. We were all REALLY drunk though...who knows...same thing happened last time too. Anyhow, the fourth person left, best friend decided she was too drunk to stand and went to bed. I went out for a smoke and went to crash on her couch for a couple of hours to sober up a little. Didn't sober up...was pounced on...anyhow...can't wait to see if this'll repeat itself again...hmmm...

Happy Holidays

Ok...something good happened...the guy I was trying to forget is back in the picture...Can you say BIG sigh of relief? *big sigh*. This news came yesterday and allowed me to sleep with a big fat smile on my face. What an ego boost to think that someone wasn't into you and to find out that they actually are interested...Let's just say that I'm flying high confidence wise...

Anyhow...I need to go get ready for Christmas eve with the family!

Holy Holidays (2pm)

This past monday, I had a little holiday get together with some girlfriends. Of course, we did a gift exchange and I scored, big time! The theme was "porn"...pretty straight forward you'd think...right? Here's what I got!

(pic to come back soon)

A friend of mine made it...it's gorgeous and will look fabulous hanging over my bed...*grin*

I also need to post an eventual pic of my new piercing. I got it thinking that maybe it could start a couple of conversations with boys, but at the same time, I've really fallen in love with it. I'm a freak when it comes to body piercings. If my family wasn't so conservative, I think I might be covered in them. It's funny, but I feel so sexy when I get a new one. They give me this feeling of being this amazingly strong woman who can deal with herself...I know I haven't said what this new piercing is...I think I'll just keep you guessing a little longer.

Holiday depression

I know I make it sound super bad, but it's true that during the holidays this year, I'm feeling a little down. It's the first time in 4 years that I'm going to wake up on Christmas morning all alone. I don't know how I'm going to feel but I think that I'll manage to do something fun and to keep on smiling.

I've also decided to give up on the crush. I know I can't just do it like that...but I think that I can manage to let go a little. I'm just going to keep on being cool old me and just step on my ego a little. I think that there are probably oodles of men out there who would be great for me. It is true though that I don't have the worlds most amazing confidence, but regardless, I make an effort to feel better about myself. I have a very long road ahead of me, that I know, but I think that it's all about the little things that are going to help me feel confident as time goes by. Someone once said that "you must love yourself before you can love anyone else". I think that makes sense...you know...it's important to be your own priority before you can make someone else yours...hmmm...I guess that's food for thought...

Holy Holidays

This past monday, I had a little holiday get together with some girlfriends. Of course, we did a gift exchange and I scored, big time! The theme was "porn"...pretty straight forward you'd think...right? Here's what I got!

A friend of mine made it...it's gorgeous and will look fabulous hanging over my bed...*grin*

I also need to post an eventual pic of my new piercing. I got it thinking that maybe it could start a couple of conversations with boys, but at the same time, I've really fallen in love with it. I'm a freak when it comes to body piercings. If my family wasn't so conservative, I think I might be covered in them. It's funny, but I feel so sexy when I get a new one. They give me this feeling of being this amazingly strong woman who can deal with herself...I know I haven't said what this new piercing is...I think I'll just keep you guessing a little longer.