Busy!

School started again yesterday. Whew! I'm already tired! It was an odd day...Went to school, bought some school stuff...went to the gym and met Cancer Cock (someone once tried to convince me that big cocks give cancer...). Cancer cock and I have been screwing like rabbits for about a year and a half. He's probably the one person that I'm most compatible with sexually...ever. He's not BDSM, but if I had to chose, and if there were emotions involved, I'd be with this guy for the rest of my days. Now, CC, as I like to call him, came up to me at said gym (while I'm sweatty and on the treadmill no less!) to ask me if I wanted to leave with him. I said sure, thinking that it'd end up as a post workout workout. So we left, went back to his place, had a bit of grub and then...he gets all nervous and says he has to talk to me. I didn't know what to think so I kinda just told him to blurt it out. And he did. He's borderline manic depressive and has been on antidepressants since the age of 18.

I don't know what to think of this. I mean...he's my lover, but obviously in the past year and a half, I've grown fond of him and I don't know what to think...I mean, condissering I couldn't have known in any other circumstance, I guess I'm happy to know, but it freaked me out a little. Being manic depressive is a bit of a big deal. I guess I'm mainly scared of what knowing this will bring on. I don't want to pity him. I don't think that I do considering he's says it's under control, but I'm a little irked. What if he loses it with me? It could happen... I don't want to leave whatever he and I are just because of this, I'm not a hypocrite. I don't know... UGH! Let's just say that I'm a little confused right now...I couldn't even bring myself to have sex with him...we cuddled...nothing much else went on. I asked some questions of course, got some straight up answers...but still...I can't shake this confused feeling in the pit of my gut.